Letter To An UNWANTED Visitor

Dear Unwanted Visitor,

I am 35 years old and have lived my entire life without you.  Through all my years, I have been perfectly fine on my own.  I have gotten myself through the death of my sister, pre-pubescent pressure and other stressors of my teen years (to include being 6′1″ at age 16, braces, zits, my first kiss, 7 Seconds, and my “transition to womanhood”), bad 90’s hair and fashion, a failed engagement, my father’s death, planning a destination wedding, moving to another state (3 times), having a child, and a plethora of other stressors that will remain in the vault and be taken to my grave. 

Now-a-days, I live a pretty stress-free life so when you showed up on the scene the other day, I was not prepared for your arrival.  I hope this explains why I physically removed you, swore at you, and threw you onto the floor.  I’m not usually a violent person but I needed you to understand that there is no room for you here among your other more favorable friends so please do not ever come back.  I find you to be a bit of a stiff and in all honesty – visually appalling.  If you do decide to return, please understand that I will take the same measures to ensure your removal.  Also take into consideration that just because my name (Melanie) and the reason you exist (Melanin – or lack there of) are very similar, it doesn’t mean you should use this as a commality you ”hang your hat on”. 

Never come back white hair!

Go where you are welcome!

This is what I think of you!